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Character Profile: Jewel and Doatsy Mae

The women of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas aren’t all what you’d expect from the title, as familiar GMT faces Nicola Coffield and Hilary Paterson will tell you. Their characters, Chicken Ranch housekeeper Jewel and local diner waitress Doatsy Mae, are anything but prostitutes. But that doesn’t mean they’re prudes, either...


Real name: Jewel Mitchell (“Surname inspired by a character that Broadway originator Delores Hall played in Diagnosis Murder.”)

Aliases: Delores

Age: 35 – 50 (“Unlike other things, Jewel ain’t givin’ it away.”)

Profession: Maid, cook, receptionist, bouncer, fixer. Possibly moonlights as a nightclub singer and NASCAR mechanic.

Songs: Twenty-Four Hours of Lovin’, No Lies

Played by: Nicola Coffield


Jewel's backstory:

“Jewel and Miss Mona are probably about the same age. Jewel was a young woman, already working at the Chicken Ranch when Mona arrived, and the two became firm friends over their shared tastes for eggs benedict and gossiping about Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd. For whatever reason, Jewel’s never married, but keeps a boyfriend or two in town that she calls on during her days off.”

Favourite Jewel line:

(Stage direction) “Laughs uproariously at her own joke.”

Favourite costume idea:

“I think Jewel has a day-pinny, and an evening-pinny, possibly like Mrs Overall in Acorn Antiques the Musical. And I’ve just got my hands on some denim flares, which I have to work into the show somewhere.”

Jewel's perfect date:

“Because Jewel only gets 24 hours off every so often, she likes to timetable her dates with rigorous detail. If we take the lyrics of Twenty-Four Hours of Lovin’ as an example of a typical itinerary, we see that Jewel assigns hourly blocks to activities like ‘sweet, sweet lips’, ‘getting hot’ and ‘paradise’. However, I did notice that, in total, she only describes activities for 18 hours-worth of lovin’, but I suppose the remaining 6 would be taken up with dinner, drinks and travel etc., so that’s alright.”

Jewel’s least favourite Chicken Ranch rule:

“Obviously Jewel agrees with all the rules. After all, she’s Miss Mona’s wingman, er, woman. Though she probably wouldn’t protest if a little drinking was allowed.”

If Jewel could pick any profession, what would it be?:

“I think she’d like to open a smoky underground jazz bar, where the gin is cold but the piano’s hot. If that didn’t work out, she’d make a good prison matron…”

The Whorehouse song Jewel can't get out of her head is:

The Rules, of course! She knows them off by heart. Plus, she gets a campanology solo.”

Doatsy Mae


Unknown (she’s not telling)


Diner waitress


Doatsy Mae

Played by:

Hils Paterson


Doatsy Mae's backstory:

“Doatsy’s a plain Jane with dreams of being the centre of attention. She works in a diner and is more known for her terrible coffee than her looks. Her food, too, is probably awful as no one seems to ever finish any of it. She craves human contact, and she falls in love with everyone, hoping one of them will love her back. And enjoys dancing in front of her bedroom mirror, but closes the door so her 17 cats don’t see. She’s secretly Shakira.”

Favourite Doatsy Mae line:

“You want some… pie… with that?”

Favourite costume idea:

“I wanted one of those aprons with a naked body on the front, but that was vetoed. Might have to go with something from Frederick’s of Hollywood.”

Doatsy Mae's perfect date:

“Em… Dinner, movie and… strip club?”

Doatsy Mae’s least favourite item on the menu:

“Two fried blind with beeswax and bullets on the side, because it’s the only thing the Sheriff ever orders and she still can’t blinkin’ say it.”

If Doatsy Mae could pick any profession, what would it be?

“Exotic dancer, with obligatory diamond in belly button.”

The Whorehouse song Doatsy Mae can't get out of her head is:

The Sidestep. Doot doot, doot doot!”

The Best Little Whorehouse In Texas runs from 5th-9th May 2015 at Websters Theatre, Glasgow. Show information can be found here, or buy your tickets now here.

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